Recently, a member of the Feminine Magic® School of Manifesting shared something incredible.
Shortly after one of our new moon rituals, she had manifested a new house and a new job— both of the intentions she set in the ritual, within 30 days.
From there even more blessings flowed into her life – a new city, a new community, all sorts of new opportunities. Full scale transformation.
Awesome, right?
Yes…except…
After the massive expansion, we connected on a coaching call, and she said…
“I’ve just experienced this huge uplevel. Seriously, my life is nothing like it was. Life was so-so before, but now it’s amazing. I finally see what’s possible for me. I’m living it.
So why do I feel like crap?!”
The low after the high. The contraction after the expansion. This is a part of successful manifesting that rarely gets talked about.
Sometimes it comes in the form of a dust-up. Your car breaks down, your nanny quits (ask me how I know about this one), you get hit with a massive unexpected expense, or other drama.
And then there’s the sadness… the sadness that hits you out of left field in the middle of all the goodness.
As Divine beings living the human experience, it’s possible (scratch that — probable) that when we use our power to dramatically shift our reality… our human systems are gonna wig out.
And they’re supposed to!
The very old part of your brain (the reptilian brain, or “critter brain”) is set up to keep you experiencing the familiar. Experiences get coded in this brain as “survivable,” and this brain automatically re-creates them again and again, without any motivation to update its strategies, or responses to events.
In other words, it’s set up to keep us in a pattern of more of the same. Because same = safe.
And that critter’s job is our survival.
So when you introduce something new (like, say, $20,000 when you’ve never made that kind of money before), these amazing and unfamiliar experiences do not feel safe. They don’t feel familiar.
And your critter brain doesn’t know what to do with itself because it only thrives when everything is same old, because same old is safe.
It may create drama, it may create sadness… either way, the experience can be extremely de-stabilizing.
I’ve heard it referred to as an “expansion hangover.”
I totally get that.
Unpredictable emotions, lethargy…possibly some flu like symptoms in the mix… catching up with your new level can really hit you.
And then there’s the natural grieving process. Grieving of the old ways of BE-ing. Because embracing something new automatically means releasing something that did serve a purpose at one point, but no longer serves one now.
And it’s going to feel uncomfortable as you do…
So what can you do to honor yourself and the discomfort, while still moving forward on the new path?
1. Practice self-care.
Take it easy. Bubble baths, pedicures, bodywork. Even if life feels full, it’s crucial to set aside some time to fill up your cup. Make those things that nurture your body, emotions and soul a priority right now. Even 30 mins listening to your favorite podcasts will have benefit.
2. Take sacred pauses.
Now is the time for mindfulness to the max. Take a long sacred pause, whenever you feel called to, to notice and appreciate the truth of what is happening in this moment. To honor any grieving. To celebrate your true Creative Power. You are transforming and moving beyond your limitations… and that deserves many moments reverence.
3. Stay in the container.
With any change, it can be really easy to slide back to your comfort zone, to that old way of being. Because even though your new magical tools are creating tangible results, you might suddenly find yourself skipping your rituals or falling into the illusions – the old perceptions, patterns and habits.
This is part of the process, so surround yourself with people, things, messages and inputs that represent the “new way.” Plan your day so that you can use your willpower (which is really your ability to choose) to say YES to the new ways of BE-ing that supported the results you now enjoy.
Keep the “new way” front and center in your consciousness. This is where being part of a community, like The School of Manifesting, can make all the difference.
4. Stay focused on what it is that you are creating.
Remember why you are here! The Desire that brought you to this place.
Today’s discomfort is nothing compared to the limits you’ve been living within. Reach for what you Desire more… what you energize, you magnetize.
5. Bless and release.
There’s a saying in the transformational community: “Today’s limiting belief was yesterday’s solution.” Those old ways of BE-ing served you well up until now, so it’s important to bless and honor those parts of you that have brilliantly brought you to exactly this moment, and the choice of a new way.
Here’s a super-simple ritual you can use (or modify) to honor and release your past:
Step 1: Diffuse or anoint yourself or smudge your area if you wish. Choose Cedarwood and Neroli essential oils for higher self connection or clear with Palo Santo or sage.
Step 2: Connect to your future self. Close your eyes, connect to your breath and visualize a future version of yourself. The one who accepts today’s expansion as a brilliant new normal. Ask Her to show or tell you which old habits or ways of being you are ready to release right now so that you can integrate into your new reality.
Step 3: List the old ways of being that served you well. Staying in your meditative state, use your magical journal to list out all the old ways of being you are now called to forgive and bless.
Step 4. Release in a simple fire bowl ceremony. Alternatively, shredding or discarding your list in a way that feels symbolic works too 😉
5. When you’re ready, consciously choose a different experience.
You feel blue and cranky, sometimes without warning, but you don’t have to stay there, nor do you have to choose one emotion, suppressing another.
Duality in emotions is … normal! You can be feeling a sadness or grief and at the same time fully elated with your new creations.
We experience many emotions simultaneously, all the time. And we’re the ones that choose which emotion to energize.
So feel the feels, while at the same time making a clear commitment that you’re NOT staying there. Feelings are familiar, too. What is the emotional state you wish to be in now? How can you choose that now?
*****
Creating exactly what you Desire in life is a ultimately a journey of spiritual growth – and like any journey, it has its upswings and downswings, its hills and valleys. The point is not to push away the negative feelings, but instead to embrace it all – to be at peace with the sometimes wild ride.
I would love to hear how you navigate “the expansion hangover” in the comments. xoxo -E
I’m in tears right now as I read this. This is exactly what I am experiencing and what I needed to hear. Thank you Elizabeth for this !!
You are SO welcome. Glad it resonated – this is so common yet not really talked about at all. Big love to you!
Thank you for this…It can at perfect timing. I had a week where I expanded my social circle big time and ironically ended up feeling sad and lonely. So I took a bath, rested, and later went to a dance class that always helps get me back into my body and my bliss. Feeling better. And appreciating this perspective on how the low is part of the process..❤️
Well this was magical to get this blog subject today. Exactly what I’ve been experiencing this past month. Exactly the encouragement I needed. Thank you so much for your wonderful words and wisdom.
Yay for perfect timing!! You are so welcome.
Yes it’s crazy how common this us but totally ignored. Then I forget and think it’s just me, never will wirk, blah, blah. Glad to see the curtain pulled back on how this shiz really works!
I read this a few times and loved it. Sometimes I’m hard on myself and judge myself for the low energy moments (or tell myself that is reality and I was silly for the high energy moments. I’m sure that sounds familiar). this gave me so much peace to know it’s just part of the process and the contrast is essential. I also like that you called it “critter brain” I’m 5ft tall so I like that my brain is a little annoying critter creature that can be sent to its room. Thank you for all you do for us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was feeling so discouraged, frustrated and critical and judgmental of myself today (and lately) and then I read your posting about ‘feeling like crap’. Boy did I ever resonate with that. After reading it I felt 100% better! I feel so light…and grateful for your post. Much appreciation…
This one really resonated with me — it took a long time for me to be able to accept that we can have two different feelings at the same time (happy/sad). A few months after my wedding I got really down and was really hard on myself. I guess I upleveled my love life and was grieving what was before!
I also think a valley of emotion can come when we tie too much expectation to an outcome (i.e., if I get married or make $20K it will “fix” everything). Then when we achieve IT and IT doesn’t, we’re left with disappointment. That’s why I love how much of your work helps us BE in the vibration, there’s no expectation because it already IS.
Thanks for a great article Elizabeth!
I’ve definitely experienced this. This is so true and so useful to talk about. Thanks, Elizabeth!!
It is so true that the teacher will show up when the student is ready! I am lying in bed feeling sick and low energy wondering why, but also feeling a bit like I’m about to come out of a cocoon! This was just what I needed to read! “This too shall pass” and the end result will be worth it!
My response is to spend some time alone doing nothing. Literally. Sitting on the deck in the sun enjoying the scent of the woods or the grass and the feel of the sun and the touch of the breeze. Just being present. Petting the cat. Taking naps. Talking to a friend once in awhile. Paying attention to how I feel in every way. I just spent a week doing that (a rare opportunity) while the rest of the family was traveling. I didn’t clean. I didn’t cook. I didn’t work except a couple of things previously scheduled. It was amazing the insights that surfaced when I was just quiet. Now I feel refreshed, ready to adjust my routines and behavior and move on comfortably.
I’m feeling this so heavily right now. I’m making massive life changes and things are suddenly “falling apart”. I’m panicking and my brain keeps telling me to just give up and go back. I can’t do that. Thanks for this. I needed it.
Thanks for that, it helps to read. I’m wondering, can the “blah” come before the up-leveling? I’ve been going through a relationship break-up and also a downturn in my fledgling business, causing me to doubt myself and where I’m going and EVERYTHING! I’m feeling sensitive and vulnerable and I want to move forward, but it’s one step forward and two back at the moment. I’m hoping for brighter days ahead… Thanks xx
Absolutely. Letting go is the lynchpin of manifestation. The path must be clear, and the space must be made, for the new Desire to show up.
PS: I bet if you look, it’s really two steps forward and one step back. Which is frustrating, but still moving forward. <3
Strange how one issue’s solutions can help you solve a different one.
Like Jo, this helped me with sort of a pre-manifesting phenomenon too, in which I’ve been afraid that by manifesting things I want I’ll lose a few things (like friendships and activities) I really want to keep.
After reading this, I realized that was just jammering critter-brain, took a sacred pause, and got reminded that I only have to let go of things I really want to let go of, and may keep anything I like. Giving myself conscious permission to keep whatever I like makes me feel about 110% more energized to work towards my own upleveling goals.
It’s very interesting to read this right now. I have recently quit a friendship that had become increasingly toxic. It was desperately hard as we had been friends since Uni, over 20 years. I’m am grieving for the relationship but Trying to stay strong and not lapse back into it, despite considerable pressure to do so.
I have also quit my anti depressants and long standing tobacco habit.
I KNOW these changes are super positive but damn, it’s hard.
But I feel wonderfully encouraged by this this piece of writing so big love to you…
I WILL RISE!