Recently, a member of the Feminine Magic® School of Manifesting shared something incredible.
Shortly after one of our new moon rituals, she had manifested a new house and a new job— both of the intentions she set in the ritual, within 30 days.
From there even more blessings flowed into her life – a new city, a new community, all sorts of new opportunities. Full scale transformation.
After the massive expansion, we connected on a coaching call, and she said…
“I’ve just experienced this huge uplevel. Seriously, my life is nothing like it was. Life was so-so before, but now it’s amazing. I finally see what’s possible for me. I’m living it.
So why do I feel like crap?!”
The low after the high. The contraction after the expansion. This is a part of successful manifesting that rarely gets talked about.
Sometimes it comes in the form of a dust-up. Your car breaks down, your nanny quits (ask me how I know about this one), you get hit with a massive unexpected expense, or other drama.
And then there’s the sadness… the sadness that hits you out of left field in the middle of all the goodness.
As Divine beings living the human experience, it’s possible (scratch that — probable) that when we use our power to dramatically shift our reality… our human systems are gonna wig out.
And they’re supposed to!
The very old part of your brain (the reptilian brain, or “critter brain”) is set up to keep you experiencing the familiar. Experiences get coded in this brain as “survivable,” and this brain automatically re-creates them again and again, without any motivation to update its strategies, or responses to events.
In other words, it’s set up to keep us in a pattern of more of the same. Because same = safe.
And that critter’s job is our survival.
So when you introduce something new (like, say, $20,000 when you’ve never made that kind of money before), these amazing and unfamiliar experiences do not feel safe. They don’t feel familiar.
And your critter brain doesn’t know what to do with itself because it only thrives when everything is same old, because same old is safe.
It may create drama, it may create sadness… either way, the experience can be extremely de-stabilizing.
I’ve heard it referred to as an “expansion hangover.”
I totally get that.
Unpredictable emotions, lethargy…possibly some flu like symptoms in the mix… catching up with your new level can really hit you.
And then there’s the natural grieving process. Grieving of the old ways of BE-ing. Because embracing something new automatically means releasing something that did serve a purpose at one point, but no longer serves one now.
And it’s going to feel uncomfortable as you do…
So what can you do to honor yourself and the discomfort, while still moving forward on the new path?
1. Practice self-care.
Take it easy. Bubble baths, pedicures, bodywork. Even if life feels full, it’s crucial to set aside some time to fill up your cup. Make those things that nurture your body, emotions and soul a priority right now. Even 30 mins listening to your favorite podcasts will have benefit.
2. Take sacred pauses.
Now is the time for mindfulness to the max. Take a long sacred pause, whenever you feel called to, to notice and appreciate the truth of what is happening in this moment. To honor any grieving. To celebrate your true Creative Power. You are transforming and moving beyond your limitations… and that deserves many moments reverence.
3. Stay in the container.
With any change, it can be really easy to slide back to your comfort zone, to that old way of being. Because even though your new magical tools are creating tangible results, you might suddenly find yourself skipping your rituals or falling into the illusions – the old perceptions, patterns and habits.
This is part of the process, so surround yourself with people, things, messages and inputs that represent the “new way.” Plan your day so that you can use your willpower (which is really your ability to choose) to say YES to the new ways of BE-ing that supported the results you now enjoy.
Keep the “new way” front and center in your consciousness. This is where being part of a community, like The School of Manifesting, can make all the difference.
4. Stay focused on what it is that you are creating.
Remember why you are here! The Desire that brought you to this place.
Today’s discomfort is nothing compared to the limits you’ve been living within. Reach for what you Desire more… what you energize, you magnetize.
5. Bless and release.
There’s a saying in the transformational community: “Today’s limiting belief was yesterday’s solution.” Those old ways of BE-ing served you well up until now, so it’s important to bless and honor those parts of you that have brilliantly brought you to exactly this moment, and the choice of a new way.
Here’s a super-simple ritual you can use (or modify) to honor and release your past:
Step 1: Diffuse or anoint yourself or smudge your area if you wish. Choose Cedarwood and Neroli essential oils for higher self connection or clear with Palo Santo or sage.
Step 2: Connect to your future self. Close your eyes, connect to your breath and visualize a future version of yourself. The one who accepts today’s expansion as a brilliant new normal. Ask Her to show or tell you which old habits or ways of being you are ready to release right now so that you can integrate into your new reality.
Step 3: List the old ways of being that served you well. Staying in your meditative state, use your magical journal to list out all the old ways of being you are now called to forgive and bless.
Step 4. Release in a simple fire bowl ceremony. Alternatively, shredding or discarding your list in a way that feels symbolic works too 😉
5. When you’re ready, consciously choose a different experience.
You feel blue and cranky, sometimes without warning, but you don’t have to stay there, nor do you have to choose one emotion, suppressing another.
Duality in emotions is … normal! You can be feeling a sadness or grief and at the same time fully elated with your new creations.
We experience many emotions simultaneously, all the time. And we’re the ones that choose which emotion to energize.
So feel the feels, while at the same time making a clear commitment that you’re NOT staying there. Feelings are familiar, too. What is the emotional state you wish to be in now? How can you choose that now?
Creating exactly what you Desire in life is a ultimately a journey of spiritual growth – and like any journey, it has its upswings and downswings, its hills and valleys. The point is not to push away the negative feelings, but instead to embrace it all – to be at peace with the sometimes wild ride.
I would love to hear how you navigate “the expansion hangover” in the comments. xoxo -E