Today marks 25 pounds lost on my healing weight loss journey. One-fourth of the way to 100 pounds gone – huzzah!!
The outpouring of support I’ve received has been incredible.
Sooooo many people are inspired, and cheering me on. AND… 😉
It’s no surprise that I have also received a few… let’s call them unsupportive comments.
“You lost some weight a few years ago and gained it back. I’m curious as to what makes you think that you’re going to keep it off this time?”
“You have been such a role model for success at any size. Aren’t you concerned that you’re going to alienate some of your audience?”
“I was guided to tell you that I’m a little concerned… being too heavy is an issue, but being too skinny is just as damaging. You don’t look like you need to lose that much weight.”
I could have snappy comebacks for each of these.
And don’t think that it isn’t tempting…
But really, when we peek under the hood of these kinds of statements… we find a lot of pain. The pain that comes from being reminded of goals not achieved and dreams not lived.
I remember very clearly the pain of being on the RECEIVING end of this dynamic, throughout childhood and adolescence.
I have always been exceptionally creative, generative and expansive. I have always felt my Desires very strongly.
So it was a huge blow when I would share those Desires with others, and instead of receiving the encouragement and approval I craved…
… I received judgment, negative forecasting (“it’ll never work,” “you’ll end up broke and struggling”), and even attempts to shame me into submission.
It seems like every time I wanted to share what I was excited about….
Like how I wanted to be a music teacher, or study marine biology (yes, this was a dream at one point), or play the violin…
I would be met with immediate, forceful blowback.
Not from yahoos on the Internet in 2018, mind you, but… from the people I loved the most!!!!
It was devastating. And at that time, nobody was able to tell me what was REALLY going on.
I know that you’ve been on the receiving end of some of this. And maybe, like me, you just don’t understand WHY people behave like this.
So I am going to tell you right now….
Every time we are confronted with moving forward, we are ALSO confronted with allowing someone else to stay where they are.
Put another way…
Every time you decide to move forward, and begin to expand and grow… someone else is confronted with their until-now decision to stay the same.
Ouch! Like, all-around OUCH-IE.
Sometimes when people make comments, they are truly trying to be helpful. They believe that they’re being helpful.
Most people are really threatened by the fact that YOU have decided to shine your light. Because it shines a light on the fact that THEY are not.
It’s really uncomfortable for them, and it’s much easier for them to get all Nippy-McNipperson with you than face their own failure.
So what do you do?
As usual, it gets down to choice…
You either choose to let it stop you, or you choose that you are going to learn how to navigate it.
That includes being comfortable being in other peoples discomfort. And being comfortable setting boundaries. And fully comfortable knowing that you are going to trigger some people. And that your growth might change some of your relationships.
Being willing to BE with all of this is an act of surrender.
You cannot change other peoples minds. You cannot make other people’s choices for them.
And you cannot allow the fact that others are uncomfortable and vocal about it to determine what you choose for yourself.
I’m not going to tell you that it’s fun, or that the process of becoming 100% OK with this is easy.
I AM going to tell you that is absolutely required if you wish to live the life that YOU are meant to lead.
We are all given a purpose. We are all given the Desire to fulfill that purpose.
We do NOT have the same opportunities. Things aren’t equal.
But balancing the scales can only begin when we are empowered. When we choose to rise to the occasion, instead of shrinking to fit.
We begin to balance the scales by being compassionate, looking at our own stuff (including our own biases), and doing the work of shifting it…without bypassing. And then broadcasting that frequency OUT.
Also? Nobody balances the scales all on their own. Transformation is always a collective effort. The best way to enroll the collective in your cause is to model how you roll, by BE-ing at your Highest Level.
There is a shadow belief beneath these kinds of boundaries violations. (And yes, allowing someone else’s judgment to put the dimmer switch on YOU is a boundaries violation.)
The shadow belief is THIS:
Someone else staying in their pain is more important than me embodying my Highest Level.
Which are you going to make more important?
At some point, you have to decide. Are you going to make someone else’s pain more important than BE-ing a blessing?
As humans, our greatest fear is being kicked out of the tribe. Because once upon a time, being kicked out of the tribe meant death. Period.
This fear is the Big Fear That Drives All The Others, including “what will people think?”
It’s so understandable. This is deeply hardwired in us.
So we have to have compassion FIRST. Then we need to look at the truth, which is…
If we want to be leaders – heck, if we want to just LIVE our LIVES as we know we are meant to…
… Then at some point we have to decide that we are no longer going to be ruled by safety programming and/or family loyalty, in contexts and situations where these things no longer serve the purpose they once did.
To all those who are celebrating my weight loss journey with me, and cheering me on, I say… THANK YOU.
Honestly, it’s really helping. The novelty has worn off, and we are firmly in the day-to-day GRIND that is the KETO diet. (Yes, tracking macros, drinking 150 ounces of water a day, and making myself sleep for 8 hours is a f’in grind. 😉 )
So I need support to do it, and you all give me that. THANK YOU.
I’m not going to stop. Because this is one Desire whose time has come.
If you have a BIG Desire whose time has finally come… I invite you to embrace it.
Surrender to it.
No matter what discomfort you get to be with along the way, I promise you… all of the satisfaction that comes with saying YES and BE-ing at your Highest Level is better.
And it is an “along the way.” A journey, rather than a destination.
You can start right now.
Love & magic,
PS: Quick heads UP…
If you want to join us for Highest Level Transformation, my new money magic immersion where I’m going to show you exactly how to command premium fees for offering your very best work, and your very best self… the time to request your invite is NOW.
Like, really. Do it today, so we can shoot it over to you before the weekend.
If you have already requested an invite, NOW is the time to get your application in.
The application is really short. I’m looking for whether or not you can be successful.
Because if you are accepted into this program, it means that I expect you to be successful in enrolling at least one client at 20k or more. (Probably $50k or more, for most applicants.)
This is an immediate “extreme ROI.” (When you see the investment in the program, revealed in the invite, you’ll see what I mean.
This is not your usual “how to offer high-end programs” training. This is a deep dive in the art of ultra-premium selling, by way of your FREQUENCY.
You won’t see anyone else teaching this the way I can. Why?
Because to the best of my knowledge, nobody else in this industry has as many years experience in BOTH teaching high end (I’ve been at it for almost a decade) AND magic (I’ve been at it for well over two decades).
Beware of imitators – I expect there to be many. 😉
If this is resonating –send a note to firstname.lastname@example.org to get your invite.
And if you’ve already got yours… get your application in now!