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How To Cultivate Unstoppable Confidence

Once upon a time.  I knew this girl.  Let’s call her Ellen.

Ellen was one of those girls who everybody loved.  As was the case with girls that everybody loved, I spent many moments trying to unpack what made her so special.  Because that’s what you do when you’re an awkward 12 year old.

I just didn’t see it… until one day in gym class.

We were doing something basketball-related.  Ellen was a basketball player, but on this day she wasn’t exactly rocking it.  Standing behind the free-throw line, she tossed shot after shot.  And missed.  Over and over again.

At a certain point it was getting embarrassing.  For me, I mean.  But she remained unfazed.

Finally, she made ONE shot.  Then another.  Then another.

Later, I went up to her.  “You were missing shots left and right.  But I never saw you get upset.  Why?”

She shrugged and said… “I’ve taken these shots so many times, I knew it was only a matter of time before I made one.”

Cue penny drop.

I had two realizations:

Confidence. That was Ellen’s je ne sais quoi.  (Bet you didn’t know that I used to be near-fluent in French. ;) )


Confidence is not something you’re born with.  Confidence is something you can learn.

Turns out I was partly off base on that one.  Confidence IS something you’re born with.  Watch some babies for a while and you’ll see what I mean.

The problem is, we un-learn it.   Circumstances and people become patterns and conditioned responses.  Until we choose something different.

Confidence is something you can learn.  To do so is a choice.

And it’s one of THE most important decisions we will ever make.

As a business coach I’m always being asked (in one form or another): What makes one person successful… and another, not so much?

It’s not just ONE thing…. but a big piece of it is confidence.

Without confidence… you won’t trust yourself, won’t make decisions, and won’t move forward.

So how do you cultivate unstoppable confidence?   I’m so glad you asked.  :)

  1. Decide.

A few years back I was on stage for 5 minutes at a speaker training with my dear friends Jesse & Sharla of Thrive Academy.

I was doing my thing at the front of the room, and I could feel that I was owning that stage.

Afterward, a woman came up to me and commented on how I rocked it.   She was specifically referring to my confidence.

I thanked her for seeing that in me, pointing out that confidence had never come easy to me.

She said, “I actually don’t believe that.  You’ve always been as confident as you were up on that stage.  You just forgot.”

I immediately knew it was true.  Not just of me, but of everyone.  Confidence is a part of the Divine package that you already are.

So you have to decide.    Are you going to choose the reality of confidence, or the non-reality of doubt, fear, hesitation, timidity, not-enough-ness, too-much-ness, unworthiness?

It really is as simple as that.

  1. Sacred Commitments to Self

In magic, we say, your word is your wand.  You’ve probably also heard stage magicians using the word “abracadabra,” which means… “I create as I speak.”

When I say something, it is so.

Except for most people, it’s not.  Why?

Because most people don’t follow through on their commitments, especially to themselves.  And every time you break a promise to yourself, your confidence takes a BIG hit – usually without you even realizing it.

Fortunately, the opposite is also true.  Your confidence increases every time you keep a promise to yourself, whether it’s getting to bed by 10pm, having 5 Transformational Selling Conversations, spending an hour a day on a key project, or whatever it may be.

So if you want more confidence… make sacred commitments (aka goals) and follow through.

The key to making this work is to choose commitments that you can actually keep.    Set yourself up for success by choosing a goal that’s a stretch, but doable.   As you follow through and your confidence increases you can keep raising the bar.

What’s great about this from a magical perspective is you’re using all of your 4 Magical Tools… perception, choice, energy and faith.

Bonus tip:  When you set a goal, take aligned action quickly.  Waiting to act only creates “maybe” energy, which drains your confidence.  When you act decisively and quickly, even if you need to course correct or take a new action, it strengthens your confidence in your ability to respond to any situation.

  1. Commitments to Others

Think of all the people in your life to whom you’ve made implicit or explicit commitments:

Your partner…
Your kids…
Your clients…
Your JV partners…
Your friends and family….

Are you keeping those commitments?

Just like the promises we make to ourselves, our ability to keep our promises to others impacts our confidence.

For example, if you tell a client you’ll deliver a piece of content by a certain date and don’t do it, how do you feel?

It feels awful.  And there’s a part of you that starts to learn that the things you say are not to be believed, trusted, and counted on.

On the flip side, every time we honor a commitment – whether it’s picking up the dry cleaning for a friend or showing up on time to an appointment, or a lifelong vow to your spouse – the more you increase your faith in your ability to follow through and the more your confidence expands.

Which leads us to the next confidence-building key…

  1. Maintain Strong Boundaries

Keeping your commitments to others does NOT mean you have to do everything for everyone!

Weak boundaries are definitely a confidence-killer.

For example, saying yes when you want to say no (and vice versa).  Otherwise known as being afraid that someone isn’t going to like you if you say/act as you really feel.

Boundaries are your personal power.  Personal power (your ability to create as you think, speak, Desire) equals confidence.

When you’re clear on where you end and others begin and can communicate that authentically and with grounded presence, your inner confidence and sense of self is strengthened.

I challenge you to give it a try this week – find a place you’ve been saying yes that you really want to say no, make a new choice, set a boundary, and notice what happens to your confidence.

  1. Protect It.

It’s SO easy for our confidence to take a hit.  Why?

I believe that one of the reasons is because our brains are set up to make our primary feeling be… feeling crappy.   Low confidence equals staying in the same place – i.e., “safe” to our brains.  (Yes, I am oversimplifying here.)

So we need to protect our confidence.  Which means making it a priority.

Make commitments.  Keep them.  Guard your mind from negativity.  Guard your mind and energy field from well-meaning but people who would trample your dreams.

When you have a new idea, project or intention, protect the energy by staying silent for a while.  Reveal only what you need to those you trust.  This isn’t defensiveness, it’s honoring your creative process.

Make your energetic state a priority.  Which is what this confidence thing is really about.

*  *  *  *  *

You are Divine being having a human experience.  And as a Divine being you are instilled with all the confidence in the Universe.   You are also a beautiful BE-ing living in a physical body.

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a class with a good friend who also happens to be one of my favorite spiritual teachers.

Someone was asking her about confidence.  She said:

“Confidence is felt, not cultivated.”

Frankly, I don’t agree with that as stated.  Confidence IS cultivated.  Because while we can choose to feel confident (which is what she was getting at)… our brains are not necessarily going to be down with that if we’ve been programmed otherwise.

So choose first… then practice, practice, practice.    Past all the conditioning, experiences, the fear and resistance, and all those worldly illusions… to return to you to who you really are, a powerful – confident – Creatrix.

Let me know how this goes for you in our Facebook group!

Gratitude Practices Of A 7-Figure Businesswoman


One of the questions I get all the time is, “Elizabeth, how do you keep your shizz together in the midst of the chaos?”

Which is another way of asking how I “get it all done.”

I don’t get it all done. I have a ton of help, and truly… any “crisis” in my biz really isn’t that much of a crisis. #firstworldproblems

As my good friend Jennifer likes to say, “There’s nothing 911 about what we’re doing here.”

That said, we do have our fair share of what I like to call… happy chaos. :)

Our biggest launch of the year (200+ new clients) while traveling, coinciding with visiting relatives (happy news, but hello – launching, yo), a sick kiddo and the first day of preschool, ever (ditto) are all recent examples.

So how do I “do it all” without losing my shizz?

It’s a many-faceted answer, but a big part is…. gratitude. The very intentional use of gratitude.

You may have heard the phrase that fear and gratitude cannot coexist. It’s almost impossible to feel stressed or fearful when you focus on something you’re grateful for.

So that alone can help you shift your energy in any stressful situation. But the power of gratitude to manifest what you desire goes well beyond that.

Gratitude instantly shifts your state. When you are in an energetic-ly positive state (or vibration)… your perception shifts and you can actually SEE the opportunities that already exist to claim what you want.

When you live in the state of having your Desires already, you’re able to perceive exactly how to create them in your life.

So here are the 3 practices that have been most impactful for me, that have enabled me to create a 7-figure business and a life I love.

These are incredibly simple, but don’t underestimate the effect you can have on your life.   More gratitude equals more miracles. Done and done.

  1. Morning Gratitude

Years ago, after I quit my job and before my business took off… I spent about 2 years in what I call my dark-night-of-the-soul period.

I won’t belabor the details now, but suffice to say – it was gloriously, wildly painful. The equivalent of someone shooting poison daggers at me all day, every day. Except the person doing the shooting was me, in my own head.

Then there came a point where I’d had enough of the self-torture and decided to make a change. The way out?


Back then I started a practice that I continue to this day. (If you’ve listened to our radio show episodes, or hung out in the Facebook group, or read our emails, you’ve likely heard me talk about it.)

The practice was to condition myself to “go into gratitude” from the moment I open my eyes. It goes something like this:

•  Gain consciousness
•  Cue the gratitude :)

Within 30 days of starting that simple practice, my world began to change. Somewhere along the lines of day 16 or 17… I had a download that would bring in $20k (starting from zero) and become the basis of all of my coaching and teaching ever since.

If gratitude on awakening doesn’t resonate with you, that’s OK. The idea here is to practice some kind of gratitude in the morning. Because what we do in the morning sets the stage for the entire day.

Over time, gratitude in the morning can literally re-wire your brain to be in a happy place nearly all of the time.

These days, in addition to gratitude at first consciousness, I take a tip from Tony Robbins. During my morning ritual, I feel gratitude for 3 specific things in my life. One of those things has to be something really simple.

Why? Because it’s in the simple things, the day-to-day moments, that our lives are made. When we can love the simple things, the little things – that’s when we are really living. And we have to train ourselves to do it.

(Tony talks about this in recent video on morning rituals filmed at what looks like a meeting of Joe Polish’s Genius Network. The video is well worth watching.)

  1. Gratitude Statements

This is one of my favorite manifesting tools of all time. Why? Because it works.

No, really – it’s freaky how well they work. Like, write-the-statement-and-the-thing-will-appear kind of freaky.

A gratitude statement is a statement of your goal, already manifested, in the form of giving thanks. You can start them off in any number of ways; however, my favorite is this old school opener from Bob Proctor:

“I am so happy and grateful now that…”

Why do gratitude statements work so well?

When you take the practice to the end of the line and actually read your statement regularly, while taking on the feeling of it being 1000% true… you embody what it’s like to have it now.

A gratitude statement is a shortcut to embodying having it now. Which – you guessed it – shifts your perception and allows you to magnetize the opportunities that already exist in your world to create it now.

I’m so happy and grateful now that we have welcomed 200 awesome new clients!

I’m so happy and grateful now that my team has worked beautifully together to execute a successful launch!

I’m so happy and grateful now that my daughter and parents are enjoying quality time together!

Got a Desire to call in or a challenge to resolve, with lightning speed? Simply write a gratitude statement for the outcome you Desire, then read it aloud every day.

Of course you have to take action on the opportunities that come your way. You do have to follow through on the rest of the manifestation.

Do that, and… this is one of the fastest ways I know to manifest anything. (Seriously.)

  1. Giving Appreciation

This 3rd practice is an advanced strategy, and it’s based on the Truth that what you appreciate appreciates.   It’s simple:

Express thanks and appreciation to the people around you – your partner, your team, your friends, your colleagues, your clients, the checker at the grocery store, even the people you perceive as competitors.

In other words… appreciate everyone.

The reason this is so powerful is because it puts the energy of giving into circulation.

True giving comes from a place of abundance, and therefore it attracts more abundance. To receive, first you must give – from a truly empowered place.

One of our Desire Mastermind clients is masterful at this. She’s continually expressing appreciation for the other members of the group, for me, for her clients, her team, her partner, even her biggest challenges. As a result she’s continually in a state of flow… good things come to her seemingly without effort.

If you see someone else with something that you want, bless them and appreciate them for what they’ve created.

Somebody who challenges you? Bless them as well!

The key to this strategy is to give your appreciation with sincerity, and to give freely.   You must be giving from a place of surplus – not giving-to-GET. (Get love, get approval, get money, get clients… you get the idea.)


With the intentional and consistent use of gratitude in this way, you’ll be amazed at how rapidly your experience will begin to shift.

I invite you to try these practices starting today, or take inspiration from them to create your own. Then let me know what you notice – come join us in the 7-Figure Goddess Facebook community.

What You MUST Pay Attention To If You Want Your Clients To Get Results


We’ve been teaching the high-end model for years.

I love it. I truly do. I’ve seen SO many women completely transform themselves, simply by offering their services in a way that honors their magic.

And then start charging for it. A LOT.

Charging “a lot” is a new paradigm. It’s not the norm. It’s triggering.

So, naturally some nigglies are gonna come up, if you’re going to play the high-end game.

One of THE biggest is…. “I can’t promise results,” which is really code for… “OMG what if my clients don’t make it happen?!?”

If that’s you… on one hand, you’re right to be concerned. Facebook is FULL of stories of those who’ve been burned by high-end mentors, spending a TON of money with nothing to show for it.

On the OTHER hand… here’s why you can breathe a sigh of relief….

Whether your clients get the results actually has surprisingly little to do with your expertise.

I know. I know. Stick with me, here… :)

Of COURSE ya gotta have skills. You DO have to take responsibility for your skill set. You can’t perform surgery without knowing how to wield a scalpel.   Mastery is critical.

AND… you probably already have more than enough mastery to 2x or 3x what you charge for your services right now. (Mastery evolves over time, which means no matter what, you have to put yourself in the game. And be willing to be NOT masterful along the way.)

Fact is… there is ANOTHER factor that has arguably THE biggest impact on whether your clients get results. It has NOTHING to do with mastery of “the thing you do.” Without it, mastery of “the thing you do” actually doesn’t matter very much.

So what’s the OTHER factor?

What I like to call… the “yeah buts.”

YEAH but… I can’t really do it.

YEAH but… my family won’t like it.

YEAH but… I may lose love.

YEAH but… I’m terrified of being visible.

YEAH but… [insert your own here]

Simply put, the “yeah buts” are… resistance to change.

Human beings are WIRED to resist change. It is a neurological fact that as soon as we get close to something we want but have never had, our “squishyminds” (aka critter brain) will throw up an objection.

YEAH but… I don’t have the money.

YEAH but… I might have to give up something I care about.

YEAH but… I’m freakin’ scared.

Many “yeah but”s aren’t even verbal. It’s a feeling. A sense of STOP STOP STOP that’s deep in your clients’ body.

They won’t even know that it’s coming up… they’ll see something, have a circumstance, make something up, justify, rationalize why they are not moving forward. And whatever it is… it will look real.

It happens to all of us.

Years ago, when I was learning sales, I was introduced to this old adage:

“Take away all their yeah-buts and all that’s left to do is buy.”

Kinda crass, right? Not entirely true… but very close to true. (If you’ve had some sales conversations, you know what I’m talking about.)

The SAME THING happens once your peeps are enrolled in a program too, making it even MORE important that you pay attention to the yeahbuts and design your program around making them disappear.

Take away all the reasons for people to fail – or QUIT, which is more likely – and guess what?

They won’t.

They’ll transform. They’ll do things they never dreamed of. It’s freakin’ amazing.

Here are 7 program design best practices to dissolve the “yeah buts” – to help you create the conditions where NOTHING stands between your clients and the miracles they Desire:

  1. Know EXACTLY what their “yeah buts are.

Before you can change something, you need to know what you’re dealing with.

In my experience, the “yeah buts” fall into 2 categories. The inner game, and the outer game.

The inner game is the stories that people are telling themselves. Mindsets. I can’t be spiritual and make money. (In the sales realm, I can’t afford it and I don’t have time are two inner game biggies.)

The outer game is the ways the inner game shows up. Distraction, overwhelm, external drama. The dog ate my homework. Indecisiveness.

So… first things first: think of your ideal client and determine all the inner and outer game things that are likely to get in their way.

For example, for a sales coach, your clients are going to have beliefs and patterning that lead them to avoid picking up the phone. Or in a health program, it’s predictable that your clients will be derailed by, say, sugary sweets.

You can then build structures into your program to account for these obstacles.

  1. Start STRONG.

Surprisingly… one of the most common times for people to quit out of a program is right at the beginning.

Why? Because of a yeah-but, of course…

Did I make the right decision?

Your client is almost ALWAYS going to ask themselves, on some level, if they made the right decision in joining your program. (It’s not you. They do this when buying just about anything.)

The solution is to design your program to deliver a RESULT or mini-result right at the very beginning.

Results create momentum. Success leads to more success. Success also provides PROOF to the squishymind that everything is okay and that we’re going to “get our money’s worth,” so to speak.

You can create results and momentum via a 1-day intensive, or simply a set of “kickstart exercises.” Or a special plan of action at the beginning. (Think: the first 2 weeks of quite possibly every weight loss plan ever devised.)

Whatever it is, get it going right after the sales conversation, or – even better – while you have them on the phone. Give them the exercises. Get that day or session on the calendar. This will get your client into action and quiet her doubts and fears.

  1. Be STRONG in your accountability.

So you’ve got someone who just paid you ten grand for 6 months. Guess what? This gives you a LOT of permission to step it up.

Your clients want you to step it up. They want you to be strong in your leadership, and hold them accountable.

If you’re a private coach, co-create action steps with your client at every session, and check in with them to see if they’ve done it.

In a group program, build in accountability buddies as a program benefit. Pair people up and have them check in with each other on a regular basis and report their progress.

One of the main things people are investing in with a high-end program is accountability to get it done. This doesn’t mean you babysit people. It does mean you have their back and call their attention to the commitments they are honoring – or not honoring.

  1. Speak to their “yeah buts all the time.

No, really. In every article, every video, every Facebook post.


Why? Because the yeah-buts start loooooong before peeps ever step into your program.

As a transformational leader, your #1 job is to raise ambitions (so well put, Brendon) and shift their perspective so they can BELIEVE new possibilities they never considered for themselves. And SEE the opportunities they’ve never seen before (which always there, by the way).

This kind of thing takes TIME. Multiple touches. All-the-time immersion in what they need to believe and understand, before they can take action.

Do this well, and you’re going to provide a TON of value for your whole community, whether someone signs up with you or not.

Marketing to the yeah-buts makes it more likely that what they learn in your program will feel familiar, and when its time for them to sign up and do the work, they’re ready.

  1. Choose your bonuses to melt the yeah-buts.

For example, let’s say you have a program on teaching people how to hold sales conversations. One common yeah-but you come across could be, “I don’t have a program to sell yet.” So a great bonus could be a simple training on how to create your first program.

Or, you could include a recipe book as a bonus in a healthy eating program to counter the “I don’t know how to cook” yeah-but.

Bonus tip: Make your bonuses specific and easy to consume.

  1. Continually show them it’s possible.

Want to know the #1 yeah-but?

The #1 thing that stops people… hands down… across the board… no matter what niche you’re in?

It’s not money…

It’s not time…

It’s thinking it’s not possible. Or, more specifically, that it’s not possible for them.

So, show them that it’s possible. Showcase successes of your clients… and your own. In articles, emails, Facebook page… etc.

Yes, this is where those selfies of you on the beach sipping maui-tais come in handy. Or whatever “success” looks like for your people.

Clients need to know that they can do it. Because you’ve done it, and your clients have done it.

  1. Give people small wins.

When your peeps make progress, they stay in the game.

Even small successes keep your clients engaged, inspired, and moving forward. So design your program to deliver small wins, and celebrate the small wins.

What’s an example of a small win, you ask? Just about any action step you would ask a client to take, and then they complete.

It’s a mini-miracle when clients take action. Why? Because they, like everyone else on the planet, is wired to resist change!!

So give people small milestones and celebrate those mini-miracles. All the time! Miracles beget more miracles. Big or small, celebrate them all.


So now you can see just how powerful the design of your program is to the RESULTS your clients achieve.  It’s true whether you have umpteen certifications or you’re just starting out.

We’ve barely scratched the surface here… but this is plenty to get you started.

It’s totally normal to have a little worry about really being able to help people – we all do… because we care.

By paying attention to these 7 things, you don’t have to let that “yeah-but” stand in your way any longer. ;)

How To Facilitate A Kickass High-End Mastermind


I love, love, LOVE leading groups.   It’s a big part of what attracted me to coaching in the first place.

So when the amazing women of the Desire Mastermind (pictured above) asked me to spill my secrets of facilitating group programs and masterminds at our retreat last weekend… I was thrilled.

Great facilitation is crucial to your clients’ success.  It’s where the REAL value of your program is delivered.  (NOT the marketing or “how to” content, which is where most group leaders spend 99.9% of their time.)

If you’ve ever had a group program that tanked – peeps checked out (disappeared), didn’t get results, or were difficult to deal with – you can bet that your facilitation was a factor.

A lack of facilitation finesse can be downright damaging.  And yet… have you noticed how FEW marketing gurus, coaches and mentors out there really pay attention to it?

You’ve likely been in those programs where the leader’s idea of leading is putting everyone in a FB group, blasting out content and calling it a day.   And for some programs, that’s entirely appropriate.

Personally, I don’t expect to create life-changing results in a $297 online course.

But for high-end group programs and masterminds… that’s exactly what I expect. And so do your clients!

That’s why if you’re a coach, practitioner, healer or change agent and you lead groups… and you’re charging thousands of dollars… basic facilitation savvy is a requirement, not an option.

So here are my 5 facilitation secrets for creating kick-ass results in group programs.  You can use these for high-end masterminds, online group programs, LIVE retreats, group intensives, teacher trainings, and more.  They work wonders with 1-on-1 clients, too.

Facilitation Secret #1: Attract the RIGHT participants.

Clients and colleagues comment all the time on the awesomeness of our groups like Goddess Business School® and the Desire Mastermind.  Our programs are successful in no small part because of the HUGE emphasis we place on accepting ONLY the right people.

The success or failure of your program begins with who’s IN it.  You MUST be fierce about who your group is FOR, and who gets in.

So when designing your group, your first question should be: WHO is an ideal participant, and WHAT is their biggest challenge?

Then, it’s time to go deeper.  WHO is this person… on the inside? What qualities or characteristics do they hold?  How do they show up in the world?  WHO is the person you’re most likely to lead to success?

We’ve been teaching a power tool on this for years –the Ideal Client Checklist, which you can download here.   It’s a list of energetic, spiritual and behavioral criteria of those best suited to working with you.

Make your list of criteria.  Then, just as with hiring, do NOT deviate from your criteria.

I highly encourage making an Ideal Client Checklist for your lower-end programs (that don’t have enrollment conversations) too – your intention will magnetize more of them and less of everyone else.

Facilitation Secret #2: Know the path (or journey) your client will take.

Every program has a path.  A “point A” and a “point B.”  Where they are now, and where they want to be.

Yes, it starts with content and the “how to” steps.  But your clients’ REAL journey is their inner journey.  And YOU, as facilitator, are the leader and guide on that journey.

For the Desire Mastermind, the outer journey is going from 6-figures to multi-6-figures.  The inner journey is going from being “in the silo” (doing it alone) to co-creating, collaborating, leading.  From being the source (where everything depends on you) to being the contribution (where co-creation happens through you).

For Goddess Business School®, the outer journey is from zero or low-5 to 6-figures.  The inner journey is that of being at effect (life is happening TO you) to being at cause (you create your life).

For The Art of Feminine Magic®, the inner journey is the same: from effect to cause.  The outer journey is the HOW-TO of manifesting exactly what you Desire, at will: a proven system of manifesting that works every time when you work it properly.

Once you’re clear on who your participants are and what they WANT, map out the path: the outer transformation and the inner transformation.

Then all of your content, exercises and facilitation choices are designed with ONE end in mind: to lead your participants on their journey.

Facilitation Secret #3: Create a safe and strong container.

Every retreat, workshop, ritual or group call has a container.   So do private sessions.  The overall program itself (group or private) also has a container.

The container is not a physical container – though if you meet in person, it will have physical aspects.  Rather, it is an energy field that contains the group as a unified whole.

Your container keeps your peeps connected to each other, and to you.  It sets the tone and the parameters.  It defines and determines “how things are going to roll around here.”

A well-constructed container is magical.  It creates a sense of trust and allows participants to BE in their process – to be vulnerable, to trust, to share.  A strong and safe container creates the environment for the highest level of transformation and results.

As you might imagine, this is a HUGE topic.  To get started, here are my top 4 elements of a safe and strong container:

  • Your FRAMES. The perspectives, assumptions, beliefs and expectations you will take in your program.  A classic example is agreements, such as the agreement of confidentiality or the agreement to “play full out.”   I also love to give my peeps mindsets and guidelines that will help them succeed (“be willing to make decisions,” for example) and then go back to them repeatedly throughout the program.
  • Your PRACTICES. Client results come from their habitual actions more than big, bold moves.  Someone who reaches out to 3 new people every day will sign on more clients than someone who does not.  The best way to get clients to take action?  Include a   A single well-chosen practice can lead to massive results for your clients.
  • Your STRUCTURES. These include structures for when you are together as a group (“here’s how the call is going to flow”) and when you are not (action steps between calls).
  • Your BOUNDARIES. My favorite!  Payment boundaries (how payment is collected and when), communications boundaries (who is the point of contact and how much are they available), appropriate behavior boundaries, energetic boundaries… the list goes on.  A big one is responsibility boundaries – what is your role, what is the participant’s role?  Remember, you are facilitating their process, not doing it for them.

A properly constructed container will dissolve 95% of challenges and conflict before they arise.  After choosing the right clients, this is THE thing that makes or breaks the success of your program!

Facilitation Secret #4: Work with the group instead of focusing on individuals.

A big part of what makes group work powerful is – of course! – the group dynamic.

Every single person in the group impacts the energy of the group and thereby everyone else in it –  especially with small groups.  This gives you a wide range of tools and possibilities that simply aren’t present in a 1-on-1 setting.

Great facilitators use this wide range, prioritizing the needs of the whole over the needs of the one.  This means being attuned to the energy of the group, tracking the story arc of each 1-on-1 interaction, and the relevance of each coaching piece to the entire group.

Techniques are endless, but a great way to get started here is simply to ask yourself, “How is this relevant to the group?” during every participant interaction.  Do this often enough and you will naturally find yourself highlighting the relevant bits and steering your conversations in the direction of what the group needs.

Facilitation Secret #5: Welcome the “resisters.”

It’s every facilitator’s nightmare: being challenged in front of the group by an outraged participant…

Or clients who stop paying…
Or clients that check out…
Or half your group leaves…
Or that ONE person who dominates the group…
… and on and on.

Whatever YOUR facilitation “nightmare” may be … it’s just some form of resistance.

The solution?  Welcome the resistance, instead of… well, resisting it.  (Ha!)

In transformational programs, resistance is inevitable.  Why?  Because just like every human being on the planet, your peeps are neurologically wired to resist change.

So transformation and resistance go hand in hand – it’s just a part of the deal!  When handled correctly, it’s a blessing and gift for the entire room.  Because you’d better believe that whatever is coming up for one person is coming up for a dozen.

A ninja secret of changework is appreciation – no “stuck state” starts shifting until we love the hell out of it.

So your best first step for handling resistance – especially the kind where your peeps are challenging you – is to NORMALIZE it.

If it’s normal, it’s no big whoop.
If it’s normal, you can handle it.
If it’s normal, nobody is “broken” or “wrong.”
If it’s normal, it’s not a disruption, but an opportunity for growth.

“Of course you’re feeling angry – what we’re doing would trigger the sh*t out of most people.  Anyone else feeling a little bent out of shape?  Raise your hand…”

“THANK you for saying that!  Who else feels this way?”

“I really appreciate how you’re being the voice in the room right now.”

Conflict can’t exist when there’s nothing to push against.  Above all, your peeps want to be seen, heard, accepted and loved through the tough bits.  It’s what we all deserve.


So there you have it – just a few of my facilitation secrets that make the difference between “so-so” group leader and “Holy Sh*t!!!!” group leader.

One or 2 of them will move the needle for you, big time.  Use all 5 and you’ll be ahead of 95% of group leaders out there.

For another one of my favorite facilitation techniques (that completely shifted the energy and results on our Goddess Business School® calls), check out this post on the GBS blog.

It’d be impossible to do this topic justice in a single post, so leave me a comment and let me know what you’d like to see on this.

What To Do When Your Big Dream Seems So Far Away


So I just set a BIG goal into motion.

When I say BIG, I mean… BIG. Financially big. Life-changing BIG. Something that everyone wants and yet most people will never achieve.

Given where I am now, I’m guessing it’ll take me 5 years. It can be done in less than that for sure, but most people take 20 years or more – if they do it at all.

It has me thinking about goals, and timelines.

When you start to really understand the Laws of Desire and how to manifest, you start to understand how much of a bugaboo linear time really is.

Here in the 3D world, linear time is a measurement, and it’s a really useful one.  Timeframes bring clarity to our vision. They keep us on track and accountable. They give us parameters for decisions. They impel us to move forward.

And yet, as soon as you introduce timeframes… they start to mess with your head. Allll that mental chatter about how long it’s taking, how long it SHOULD take, why it’s not here yet.   And sometimes outright despair at the perception of how long it will take.

The good news is, you can have your dream in a MUCH shorter timeframe than you think. Power manifestors create seemingly impossible outcomes in what is, for all intents and purposes, an instant. (Take my friend Jennifer, who built a $20m real estate empire in under 10 months.)

And there are two big reasons why instant manifestation is not only possible, but actually the most natural way to manifest….

One is the Law of Polarity, which tells us that everything has its equal and opposite. You cannot have an “up” without a “down.” Or a left without a “right.” Or an “in” without an “out.” So when you have a true Desire, the way for that Desire to be made manifest already exists, and it’s in your field already. Everything you Desire is already here.

Second is quantum physics. I’m grossly simplifying here, but the long and short of it is that all time exists in the NOW, simultaneously.

That means that all the knowledge, all the resources, and everything you need to create what you want NOW already exists in the NOW. You don’t need to wait 20 years. It’s here NOW, it’s seeking you NOW, you can have it NOW.

So why isn’t everyone “having it NOW?”

The answer, once again, gets back to the fact that we are Divinely powerful BE-ings having a human experience.

While we are born Divine, and therefore come here to earth with all that entails (read: the power to be, do or create anything we wish)… we are also born into a body, equipped with a mind that is the most powerful manifesting engine that has ever been actualized on the planet, AND at the same time is wired to block us from creating / achieving / receiving what we really, truly want.

The practice of magic is about dancing with and ultimately mastering this paradox.

We are NOT born with the knowledge of HOW to manifest instantly. Or HOW to create a $20m real estate empire. Or a 7-figure business. Or a global non-profit. Or a writing career. Or a soul-level relationship. Or any other meaningful dream.

We are born with soul purpose and the inner drive to bring that calling to life. We are born with Desire.

Yet… the journey, the HOW, the way to actually manifesting it… THAT is up to us.

We have the dream, but we must bring it to life. The tools are there, and our power is there, but it’s up to US to use those tools and develop our power.

In other words, we must GROW.

GROWTH is what takes up the linear 3D time. And therein lies our opportunity for manifestation mastery.

So what do you do when your big dream seems SO far away?

Embrace the growth that is required to get there.

One of my favorite teachers of the Laws, David Neagle, has a quote I just love. “The only cause of non-miracles is resistance.” This includes “Why isn’t it here yet?”

There is a gap between where you ARE and where you want to BE.   That’s just the fact of it. Ever notice the more you try to push away or deny that gap, the more time passes and the bigger the gap becomes?

That’s because what you energize, manifests. You can either energize “why isn’t it here yet?” OR you can direct your energy toward calling what you want into your life.

The thing about the manifestation game is… you DO have to do things differently. You’re literally re-writing yourself. The ways to do it are simple, but it is by no means easy.

Manifestation is a skill. Like any skill, it DOES get easier. But you have to drop the resistance and embrace what is required – including the learning itself.

Louise Hay puts it brilliantly…

“When we begin to work on ourselves, sometimes things get worse before they get better. It’s okay if that happens. It’s the beginning of the process. It’s untangling old threads. We need to just flow with it. It takes time and effort to learn what we need to learn. We might not see changes instantly.

Impatience is only resistance to learning. It means we want the goal without going through the process. We need to let ourselves learn, step by step. It will get easier as we go along.”

Sooooo… about that Big Dream of yours…

What are you resisting? In what WAY are you being asked to grow?

Are you studying the principles of manifestation, the Laws, magical tools and putting them into practice every day, to the best of your ability?

At the same time, are you taking aligned action on the guidance you’ve been given, along with the super-practical steps you know are being asked of you?

Answer these questions honestly, and the next step will be clear. And then the next, and the next.

And the next thing you know… you will have created pure magic.

I believe in you!